A woman’s life can really be a sucession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compelling situation or challenge, and marked off by some intense experience.
* Wallis Simpson
Ten years ago I had just graduated highschool, and I felt more than ready for the fascinating new world of adulthood. I felt that finally, after eighteen years of living by everyone else’s rules, it was my turn! I knew exactly what I wanted for my life, and I was ready to get it! I dreamed of graduating college with some type of degree in journalism and a healthy salary. Somewhere along the way, I expected to meet the love of my life, and ride off into forever… where I would raise many children in the comfort of a great marriage in partnership with my perfect husband. Ha!
If that was my dream, I’ve been rudely awakened by the nightmare of reality. It is 2012, and I ...view middle of the document...
Unfortunately, I just kept on going, too proud to realize or admit that I was lost. Eventually, after many… sometimes brutal shortcomings, I accepted the truth: I screwed up almost every important adult decision I made. Ouch.
So what now? What should I do? Should I give up and accept my life as a derogatory failure? Should I just keep going and imminently bury myself in the same hole I’ve been digging all this time? Should I let bitterness and regret consume what is left of my hope and ambition? Should I just excuse myself by blaming everyone who’s ever dragged me down?
No. I don’t think so. To do so would be spineless neglect of responsibility. Besides, I’ve never been one to admit defeat… not even to myself. Instead, I think I’ll rise above my inadequacies and rebuild my life, this time equipped with the type of knowledge and wisdom that comes with real life experience. Success will not fall in my lap, I have to get up and grab it!
I have a huge responsibility to my three children. I brought them into this world as babies… it is solely up to me to send them out in to it as adults. But where do I begin? I have been left behind by the modern world. I don’t know how to pay my bills online. I’ve never filled a virtual shopping cart. I know nothing about investing or planning for retirement. What is a ROTH IRA? I was proud of myself for creating a Facebook account! If I can’t even function in my own world, how can I prepare my children for success in theirs?
The answer is clear. I MUST re-enter the world through the gateway of higher education. College has everything I need. I need computer skills. College. I need financial management skills. College. I need a career with benefits like insurance, vacation time, and retirement plans. College. I need new goal-oriented friends that want more out of life than mere survival. College. I need to set a good example for my children. College.
I’ve known for years that I needed to go back to school. I guess I was just putting it off, but the future is now.