Week 5 Assignment

1680 words - 7 pages

Axia College Material
Appendix D
Sample Feedback for Student Paper on a Popular Film

Note from Faculty to Student:


I went ahead and submitted all papers to the Center for Writing Excellence. I used two writing services that are available: WritePointSM and Plagiarism Checker. I encourage all students to use these writing services throughout their education. WritePointSM will automatically review your paper for common errors in writing. The Plagiarism Checker will inform you of any content that may be plagiarized. This free service will also let you know what percentage of your paper has been cited. I hope that these tools will assist you throughout your education.

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The film is a continuation of the direction that Batman Begins took. It [It must refer to a specific word in the sentence or the reader may become confused.] showed a darker version of Batman than the one seen in the Timothy Burton and Joel Shumacher films. The core unit responsible for Batman Begins also made The Dark Knight. Specifically the director, Christopher Nolan, the writer David S. Goyer and the stars such as Christian Bale, Gary Oldmand, and Michael Caine all played a role in both of the films with the only exception being Maggie Gyllenhall replacing Katie Holmes and Heath Ledger playing the Joker in one of his last roles, which will be remembered as an excellent performance and [Insert a comma before "and" if the following (1) is the last in a series of more than two, OR (2) it begins a new clause (could be a sentence by itself)] one which earned him an academy award after he had passed away. [This run on sentence needs to be broken up. Remember that a paragraph is a series of sentences that relate to a particular point that you want to make. They usually consist of four or five sentences "bunched" together around one idea.]
What makes The Dark Knight fairly unique among comic book movies is the focus on acting and storytelling. The acting is impressive across the boards. Bale, Oldman, Ledger, Caine, Morgan Freeman, and [Insert a comma before "and" if the following (1) is the last in a series of more than two, OR (2) it begins a new clause (could be a sentence by itself)] Aaron Eckhardt all excel in their roles. Unlike most comic book-movies, the actors are given moments to showcase their acting abilities.
The cinematography followed the look established in Batman Begins by using subdued colors, lots [Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Rather, use many or much instead of lots.] of darkness and a more restrained visual style than the one seen in the late 80s and 90s. In many ways the new style of the two more recent Batman films can be seen as an attempt, which at this point must be considered succesful [Spelling error made – successful], to distance the franchise from the negative connotations that Batman and [Insert a comma before "and" if the following (1) is the last in a series of more than two, OR (2) it begins a new clause (could be a sentence by itself)] Robin had.
Wikipedia wrote the following about the film: It was greeted with positive reviews upon release, and became only the second film to earn more than $500 million at the North American box office, setting numerous other records in the process. It [It must refer to a specific word in the sentence or the reader can become confused.] is also the fourth highest grossing film worldwide, and only the fourth film to earn more than $1 billion, worldwide. [APA citation error. If the author is cited in text = Author's name (year) "direct...

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