Housatonic Community College
Creator vs Victim
It is not what happens to each of us that determines how much we enjoy life, but rather our reaction to what happens. Though we may have no choice in unexpected events that happen to us, we most certainly have a choice in how we interpret what happens, and in what we choose to do about it. We can always choose to be either a Victim or a Creator. This key choice makes all the difference in how much joy we experience in life.
Each of us is faced with challenges every day of our lives. And with each challenge, we make choices in how we react. By choosing to become more conscious of how we react to challenges, we can shift our actions towards creating what we really want in our lives. Rather than following habitual, reactive patterns which cause us to behave like victims, we can recognize and transform old habits to create the life we really want. Yet to do this, we ...view middle of the document...
Or you may blame yourself for all your problems, thus internalizing your victimization. The essence is that victims feel a need to blame someone for all their problems, whether it is themselves or others, because that someone is ruining their lives and world. And the truth is, your life is likely to stay that way as long as you feel a need to blame and make yourself or others wrong.
Those who choose to be creators look at life quite differently. They know that there are powerful individuals and groups who might like to control their lives, but they don't let this get in the way. They know that they have their weaknesses, yet they don't blame themselves when they fail. Creators feel no need to blame anyone as they know that whatever happens, they have choice in the matter. When Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. were put behind bars, they used that opportunity to meditate and pray, to write letters and books, and to inspire their communities to stand up and make a difference in the world. They prayed not only for themselves and their supporters, but even for those who jailed them and despised their work. They were unstoppable, powerful creators who continued to have joy and meaning in their lives until the day they died.
Victims relish in anger, revenge, guilt, and other emotions and behaviors that cause others – and even themselves – to feel like victims, too. Creators consciously choose love, inspiration, empowerment, and other qualities which inspire not only themselves, but all around them to continually create the lives and world they want to live in. Victims and creators live in the same physical world and deal with many of the same physical realities, yet their experience of life is worlds apart.
In reality, all of us play the victim and all of us play the creator at various points in our lives. Yet few people realize just how much choice we have in which role we play at any given time. None of us is perfect. We all have made and will continue to make mistakes and bad choices in our lives. When we fail, there is no need to blame ourselves or anyone else. We can choose to simply accept that we didn't do what we had intended and then work to understand why, so that we might do better the next time.