It Takes A Lot To Keep Marriage Alive
Family is something of major importance throughout a life, but I don’t think that we realize its importance until we are in the Middle Age Years of our life. Middle age according to our text is defined as the ages from 35 to 64( 489). I feel that people today are becoming established in their own lives before bringing a baby into the world. That is why some of the problems that once occurred in Early Adulthood when it came to marriage is now occurring in Middle Adulthood. I never would have considered myself in the category of Middle Adulthood until I studied this part of the book. In my opinion the most critical dynamic facing American families in Middle Adulthood is that of Marital Happiness and keeping your marriage alive.The happiness in a marriage can be compromised for many different reasons, some of which can be adjusted and some of which there is no adjustment.
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Couples have to remember to take time for one another and communicate with each other. I know in my marriage we have children who are 8, 6, 5, 1 and a foreign exchange student who is 16. They definitely keep us busy and if we do not make a conscious effort to make time for each other then we both are in pretty bad moods and feel neglected. Our rule of thumb is that we as a couple try to take a date night at least every other month. This has really added a happiness to us that is beyond measure, so another words this can be adjusted also.
Something else that comes to mind is financial stress in a marriage. Money and materialistic values have caused many people that I know to have major marriage unhappiness. Bringing debt into a marriage and acquiring debt after marriage are both ways that can cause financial stress and sometimes even blame. Sometimes in marriages one person will stress over the finances and not tell the other person what is going on until it is too late. A friend of mine just went through this very thing. Tommy was the one handling the bills and finances of the family and Jules knew that they were watching their spending, but didn’t know that they had not had the money to pay the car payment for the past three months until they came to reposes the car. This could have caused a divorce, but these two decided to overcome this obstacle and vow to never let this happen again.
The final thing that I feel causes happiness in a marriage to be compromised is the presence of a former spouse. A former spouse may cause friction between you and your new spouse because you didn’t handle it they way that your spouse would have. Usually former spouses are not happy with their new lives and they do not want their former spouse to be happy either. Therefore they do everything that they possibly can to cause unhappiness and friction between their former spouse and new spouse.
Marital Happiness is very important during life. One must always make an effort for that happiness to occur whether it be through time, energy, or communication with their spouse. When it is achieved it is definitely worth all the work that was put into it.