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The Most Important Thing About Communication Is Hearing What Isn't Said

1986 words - 8 pages


Our world has become a global market place where effective communication is a necessity to survive. Identifying the connections between the people involved in the exchange of information is critical to effective communication.
The aims of this blog are threefold:
The first is to explain the concept of Social Competence; the second shows how the use of Intrapersonal communication can influence one’s communication; and the third portrays the importance of intercultural communication.


Social competence is the capacity to manage self and relationships effectively. It ...view middle of the document...

I decided to resolve the issue through discussion; but feelings of anger nearly made me loose my cool. Because of my anger I was unable to engage productively with this man and a resolution was not negotiated.
(Dwyer, 2009, p.69).
However, for people who do have the tendency to behave aggressively, the good news is that social competence is a skill that can be learned, so you are not doomed to live a life of anger and conflict. You can increase your practical knowledge of the effectiveness of various ways of behaving in social situations (Robinson & al. 2013 p. 1269). And you don’t need to be a rocket scientist either to learn, as the skill of social competence is termed emotion management (Austin 2010, p. 563-578). According to Griffin (2012, p.105) one way of learning the skill of social competence is by becoming sensitive to the inner life of others, growing ones own interpersonal construct in the process. Social competence skills encompass: good listening skills, empathy, tolerance, ability for cooperation, social intelligence and responding competence to name a few.
This clip emphasizes the consequences of people with a lack of social competence:
(TDA group, 2013)


“Intrapersonal communication is communication within the individual through the processes of thinking and feeling” (Dwyer 2012, p. 5). It is in essence the same as interpersonal communication except that the sender and receiver are the same person. DeVito (1986) claims that in the field of interpersonal communication, intrapersonal communication is of great importance. He goes on to say that intrapersonal communication can be seen as an element of personality improvement. In my profession, I had confronting workdays where I had to meet many demands at once and this often left me with a mental paralysis and panic. I sometimes didn’t know which task to tackle first. Once I started mentally prioritizing my work tasks I realized it was a great strategy to improve the way I thought about situations, and to complete goals. Everyday I set 10 minutes of my time aside to mentally or verbally remove my mental clutter.

When my husband lost his job, I had to suddenly work 80+ hours per week, feeling intensely guilty because of missing out on family life. I noticed during my 10 minutes of intrapersonal communication a stream of criticism and negativity bubbling up inside me. Unfortunately negative thoughts and feelings had no place at the office, and blocking them out (which I tried) was virtually impossible (David 1986, pp.125-128). Sometimes these thoughts and feelings would crowd my mind so badly I would become that thought or feeling.
It was Tolle’s (2011, p.17) quote: The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the possessing entity- the thinker. Knowing enables you to observe the entity. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated;...

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