In the paper The Dark Knight, I thought the essay would be interesting because I am a fan of the movie, but I found several things I personally would have done differently and I found it hard to stay focused. First off I do not think the introductory paragraph was well written. I think the first sentence should have been something that would catch the readers’ eye and draw them to the paper; instead the first sentence was opinionated. The writer said that The Dark Knight was the most popular film of 2008, but as the film was popular who said it was the most popular and where is the proof? The essay also lacked a thesis statement. I would have made an outline to help me stay on topic and to help organize the essay. This essay seemed very unorganized, and I would have wrote a thesis statement to follow the rest of the essay. I would have someone read the essay to help look for errors. ...view middle of the document...
In the fourth paragraph I would have said ‘subdued colors, more darkness’ instead of “subdued colors, lots of darkness.” When writing an academic paper I would try to stay away from the word “lots”. The word lots is for a house on a lot or something in big quantities and does not fit in with the academic tone; it’s more of a casual tone how two friends would communicate. I would have also tried to do more research on the topic and I would not have used anything from Wikipedia because I know people can go in and edit the information at hand. I would have had a different concluding paragraph. A concluding paragraph should in a way reword your points but not in a redundantly. I would also cite all my sources I used and follow the APA style format.
Part two of assignment
The student could have cited his information used in the essay and had quotation marks around the information at hand. The essay did only have %14 for the plagiarism checker but if the student would have cited the sentence correctly. I feel it would have been an even lower percentage and would have been better for the student if the plagiarism checker was used. If the student would have used the plagiarism checker before he submitted the assignment he could have found help; if needed to learn how to properly cite information borrowed from another source. The student could have done better research. If the research would have been done differently he would have found other information from a reliable source. The student could have also checked to see if his sources were in face credible or not. I also feel that the faculty member was also concerned because the student mentioned the source Wikipedia and plainly stated that “Wikipedia said the following about the film” but failed to insert the proper format for citing sources. The student could have added quotation marks around the proper information and it plagiarism would not have been an issue. The only issue would be that the student got his information from a source that is not reliable.