Prince Charming (NOT!)
I met John* when I was sixteen-years-old. We dated on and off in high school and several years after high school. I actually married someone else when I was twenty-three, all the time wishing it was him. I even daydreamed about him coming to the church and standing up when the preacher said “Is there anyone here who has any reason that this couple should not wed?”! (You know the scene, a knight in shining armor on a white horse who whisks you away and you live happily ever after.) But I wanted to be married, and he didn’t stop the wedding, so I was married to another man for about a year. I finally realized that I was not, and would never be, in love with him, ...view middle of the document...
I knew then that things weren’t going to change. How did I know this you ask? I woke up at 4:00 a.m. on Saturday, July 10, 2004 in labor. My contractions were still not too close together, but painful nonetheless. We had to call John’s mom and dad to come and stay with our daughter while we went to the hospital. To pass the time (and hopefully take my mind off the pain in my uterus) I took a shower. When they got there they told us that they had seen the guy that John was supposed to fish a tournament with that day. So instead of driving straight to the hospital, we had to go to the boat dock and tell everyone that John wouldn’t be there to fish. One of the older men there didn’t believe that I was in labor! When he actually witnessed me having a contraction (panting, sweating, doubled over in pain, and nauseated, because let’s face it, a boat dock smells like rotten fish) he said “I feel sorry for you honey”!
Needless to say, things did not look like they were going to be in my favor any time soon. When our girls were five years old and three years old, John got transferred for work. So I packed a 1700 square foot home (and a basement!) by myself and moved from the only area I had ever known as home. Not only that, but my mom had just passed away, so I was leaving my dad by himself. When we got settled into our new home and the girls into school, I tried to find a counselor so that we could work on our marriage. John didn’t want to go to counseling. He felt
we didn’t need it. So I went alone. At my second session with the counselor, she asked me to find a friend that was trustworthy and give her cash to keep for me in case of an emergency. I literally was confused at her statement. I asked her why and she said “because in my honest opinion, I think he would hurt you and it would be best to have someone keep some cash for you so that you can have it available for a motel room or whatever else you may need”. This put a lot of things into perspective for me.
During this time, my dad got sick and came to stay with us over the winter. I took care of him and my two children. He was with us for about three months. He got to witness firsthand how John talked to and treated me. Needless to say, he liked him less and less and didn’t hesitate to remind me that I should’ve listened to my mother! When John and I first got together and I asked her what she thought of him, she said “I think he’s an asshole.” She was right.
I stayed as long as I could stay. Thinking that I was doing so for my children. So...