Polygamy has become one of the most source instability and conflicts in most societies. This issue does not only affect the victims themselves but everyone surrounding it. Sometimes even the whole nation suffers because of this problem which has led to deteriorated societies for decades. Although there are many people who are still arguing for this practice, I chose to oppose it because the consequences outweigh the positive effects of this practice. It’s also the fierce urgency and need to safe the life’s of families, women and children who still greatly suffer from the outcomes of polygamy.
A number of writers have expressed their views on polygamy by ...view middle of the document...
They lack confidence on them and tend to sit on one side to blame the other as the cause of the problem especially in an attempt to negotiate or mediate between them The pillars to his family are the mother and father. As much as possible all differences should be handled behind closed doors and preferably out of ear shy of the children.
Particularly where fathers had more than two wives or more than 10 children, daughters and sons often claim their father can hardly recognize them. When they went to ask for pocket money or school fees, their father would look at them cluelessly and ask, “Which mother are you from?”This has make the child feel neglected and that parent has no interest on the life since he cannot even recognize them. Most of the times these children will move and struggle out of this family and struggle on their own as if they don’t have parents to give them a helping hand.
I personally know of a man (Akuku Danger)who is married to more than 100 wives and has fathers upto nearly 200 children before he died. Although he considered polygamy as part of the empire building he never considered the impacts and challenges faced amongst his wives and children. According to reports from his wives after his dead, women especially the older ones faced neglect and harsh treatment from the husband. The children of second wives usually cope better because from birth, they know their father has another family. Polygamy also negatively affects the relationship between children and their mothers, with the former resenting the mother for being unable to ensure the father does not neglect them or for becoming depressed and also neglecting their emotional needs. Regardless of gender, they lack confidence in their own ability to have stable relationships because they have only experienced a family life filled with traumatic quarrels and resentment.(Hughes)
According to the article by Larry Beal of Trauma awareness and treatment centre, He describes the emotional effects on both children and wives. In the author’s observation, it takes an unusually strong and resourceful woman to successfully leave a polygamist group. A woman who escapes had reached the limits of her capacity to continue enduring intolerable conditions for her and her children. The obstacles in her path are unimaginable. The most challenging obstacle may be the mental and emotional conditioning which makes the negatives of the experience normalized by the doctrines and teachings. These include the expectations and social mores she has most likely grown up with since childhood and there is the stigma of breaking loyalties, secrets, and "the true way." Then there is the obstacle of being believed. (Beal)
I have heard it said that children are the innocent victims of divorce. They can be the innocent victims of polygamy as well. No matter how much a mother may love her children, if she is in bereavement she cannot optimally tend to the emotional and...