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Pain Without Love Essay

1123 words - 5 pages

Phillip Cordova
Eng 121

In the front seat of a moving car, I am cut loose from the city. It watches me pass with sharp neon eyes. Something goes clank in the night, and the sound is close enough to a gunshot to take me back to the beginning.
My last meeting with my friend went about as good as a walk in the graveyard. The car stops in the traffic lights. Outside, the light paints snow red, like the whole city was in flames. But inside, in the shadows of the car, it's all done in blues. I know I'm lying to myself. No amount of painkillers can keep this ache away. No lie can hide it. But this wasn’t the beginning; I could always remember that text like it was pinned ...view middle of the document...

December 31,2007 it had all come crashing down. The bad things came, like a winter storm. Pushed over the edge, I found myself in the cold no-man's land between right and wrong. No road-signs. On a crash-course with my mind. With nothing to lose. I was trying to look for the answers, but every crash, instead of closure, was just a hole with more questions leaking out. A spreading labyrinth of questions, like a pool of blood spreading on the snow. I asked my self is there really love or is it just a crappy way of happy people telling you there life is perfect. Another question I asked my self was why do I hate life so much what sparked it. Thinking I was sounding emo until I remembered this kid he had it all nice house family a wife everything you would want in life but he cut himself daily talked bout pain how does he feel my pain what’s wrong with me.
As I turn around, walk away leave home. That would have been the smart thing to do. Guess I wasn't that smart. As I lay at home waiting for my friend to come and get me I still couldn’t get her out of my head. I felt hurt, betrayed and beaten, the list went on. The how and why of it was a mystery to me, but they knew I was a good guy. I knew victor coming, and they were going to get to just happy about it. My face was all lit up. A bomb went off, turning snow into liquid gold. One of the kid thought it was a good idea to blow up a toy car into the snow with a m-80 The flames were highlighted on the hood of a black toy car, as it layer in the snow The ringing in my ears was the sound of a loud war being waged well which my mind thought. That sound I felt like I could see into the future and what was about to happen. The feeling I got when...

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