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Living With Abuse, An Interview With A Young Adult

592 words - 3 pages

Living with Abuse, an interview with a young adult

The struggles of living as an adult after being abused as a child are numerous. I was abused by my stepmother when I was between the ages of 1.5 and 4 years of age. She cared for me alone at times when my father was at work. She would punish me by making me stand in a corner for hours or the entire day. If I would lean on the wall or try to sit down, she would handcuff me, stuff a washcloth in my mouth and put me in the dark closet. Other physical punishment would include pouring salt on my applesauce and forcing me to eat it, stomping on my toys to destroy what I loved, making me touch her private areas, her touching my private areas, threatening to hurt my mom or my dad. ...view middle of the document...

I have struggled all of my life. I had learning difficulties as an adolescent, I seemed to always get myself into trouble in school for fighting or talking back. I started smoking when I was 12 years of age and began drinking when I was 17 years of age. I began my arrest record at that age as well. I am now a convicted felon for theft, drugs, and breaking an entering. I am an alcoholic that has tried pot and pills. My mother once asked me why I drink. My response to her after thinking about it was, "It is the only thing that takes the pain away". I have feelings of rejection from my father. He gave me up when I was 7 years of age and I see now that I was safer without him and his household, but he gave me up. With all of the trouble that has followed the abuse, I feel like an outcast. That term is what I relate to most, "outcast". I will be 30 soon and for the majority of my life, I have struggled with this pain. I am working now and have a young family. I am finally clean but I continue to struggle with feelings of being an outcast. I try hard not to think that. I am trying hard to make better choices and I am succeeding, so far. My choices have caused me to limit my possibilities for a career and it is hard for me to even rent a home for my family. I have punished myself for the rest of my life. I feel like I have come a long way, though and I will continue to try my best. I am blessed with 2 beautiful little girls and an understanding wife. I will give to my family what my father chose not to and I will protect my girls from abusers like my stepmother. When I close my eyes at night, I often wonder who I would have been without the abuse. My stepmother stole the life that was intended for me.

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