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Jonathan Essay

3210 words - 13 pages

Jonathan The dust of time lays heavy upon my soul. When I sit here, up in this room, I feel the truth of my years press against me with such force as to push a long tired sigh from my lungs. This room was a part of my childhood, although all my childhood things are joined with the memories of generations past in the attic. I remember those days in a unique light. They are so far removed form my mind and yet those memories have a clarity no other part of my life hold. I am sure nothing would be real to me at all if it weren't for the fragment of the past that was able to follow me.When I look back to remember, it is as though I am peering through time fogged glass of an antique picture frame. ...view middle of the document...

All things good and beautiful began here and radiated outward like the branches of a tree or the warmth of the sun.Just as my time was filled with the duties of childhood, my parents had their places to work and tend. My father put in time at the farm and feed store he owned and operated, far up the dirt road from our house in town. There, he and his delivery and stock boy made quite a successful profit, peddling for the farmer and the country man. Fodder for the animals and supplies for the home b Å ( Ž ó û ü b Ê +  ò 5 Å¡ û [ nd, spent her time at home. She "š ã F § f Ê . "¢ ð ö Y ¼ " I Â¥ er. She kept the house tidy and Û ç N · " /  ì N œ ô Q ¸ ) j È lection animals. Our family was I y Þ D! " '" "°" ì" 9# "¢# Ú# B$ Â¥$ % .% "˜% Û% e bed time or tender words at the table, unlike families in my story books. This lack of show did not, however, result from a lack of feeling. My parents were simply quiet people. The occasional trinket from town or special desert communicated their love for me as well as, or even better, than all the kisses in the world. I never craved that sort of affection, I knew I was loved. I was secure enough in my own mind not to need much additional display. They did much by providing me with a cozy home.I was an only child and not really the worse for it. I had no siblings with which to contend. There was no intruder to impose upon my quiet time or lay rival claim to Our Eden Orchard. At this time I didn't want others around me. I was far more pleased with the joys of solitude. This lasted me until shortly after my ninth birthday.It had been a week or so after my small party. My mother had presented me with two new summer dresses for my favorite doll and my father had fashioned for me a miniature basin and washboard. Practicality always had a place in my house. What good were new dresses if my doll couldn't clean them after they had been soiled? I was in the act of helping my doll with her laundry when a peculiar feeling crept over me.The air coming through the window seemed to cool slightly. I looked up, more out of reflex then alarm, and peered out the empty window. My play was forgotten on the floor and I walked to it, gazing out into the blackness of an overcast country night. The outline of the willow tree was barely visible against the low clouds. My soul became leaden as I stared into the dark, feeling for the first time the longing for another being. Standing before that great window I had my first taste of loneliness.It was a foreign and bitter pain. It wasn't common loneliness....

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