COM/155 University Composition and Communication I
I think that paragraph five is an example of more effective writing than paragraph one. In paragraph one the sentences are very short. It is very hard to see were the writer is going with this paragraph. All of the sentences sound the same. I can get lost trying to rearrange the sentences as I read so I can get the writers point. Paragraph five is the total opposite. I had no problem getting what the writer is trying to say. The paragraph flowed smoothly from beginning to end. The first sentence leads way to the next and throughout the paragraph. The writer used sentence variety by asking questions and grabbing the ...view middle of the document...
” I think that this is a great suggestion. I was trying to have variety in my words but “feel” is not the right word to be used there. Another suggestion that I found to be helpful was on sentence eleven. I wrote “one thing I would change about paragraph five that is the last sentence”. Write point said, “Wordiness: see if you can remove “that” or “that is”. After looking at the sentence I revised it to say, “One thing that I would change about paragraph five is the last sentence.” I removed “that” because it did not need to be in the sentence. Most of the advice that was given by Writepoint I used except when it suggested that I avoid talking about myself in the third person. In the sentence that the suggestion was made I was not talking about myself so I did not take their suggestion. Over all the suggestions made I used to correct the paragraph I wrote.
In the future I intend on using Write Point in all of my essays. I have found that the writing I do that is not submitted to Write Point is not of the best quality. I have never seen this tool with any other University that I have been to and I think it is a huge part of my success at University Of Phoenix. In the future I my strategy for using Write Point will change I will submit my papers to Write Point at the beginning of the week so that I have plenty of time to get the reply back from them. Submitting the paper earlier gives me plenty of time to make corrections and submit the paper again to see if I need any other corrections. In all Write Point will become the center of my writing in my academic career a tool that I will appreciate and get a lot of use from.