Domestic Violence |
A Personal Account |
Gloria Dickerson |
A Personal Account
When we think about domestic violence we think of the physically abusive husband and the docile abused women. We may think of the children involved but that is where most of us stop. However, this type of violence has a much further reach then those that live in the walls of the home that the abuse takes place in. During this report we will look at the different perspectives and roles of the media and society as a whole. We will focus on the victim of the abuse rather than the abuser by getting a firsthand report of not only a woman who escaped over ...view middle of the document...
Today we have an abundance of laws at least one safe shelter in most cities and multiply public awareness claims geared toward bringing awareness to domestic violence, so why is it still a subject taken lightly by so many. Most have heard it talked about, and most have heard, “well if she stays she deserves it”. No one deserves to live in fear, so why do they stay. For this report I interviewed a woman that from the age of 14 stayed with a man that controlled and “knocked her around”, she stayed for more than fifteen years.
Let me start by saying that this woman is one of the strongest, most self-reliant people I know. To see her now one would not think that she “allowed” this to happen for so long. I think the two most important questions to ask a person of domestic abuse are: “Why did you stay?”, and “Why (how) did you finally leave?”. Because of privacy we will use the name Ann M. for our interview. When as to why she stayed it was a simple answer, “I had been with him since I was fourteen, it’s all I knew”. She goes on to tell how it “wasn’t so bad all the time” and that it wasn’t like he would “beat the crap out of me”, more like a “pop here and pop there”. When being told your stupid and worthless form such a young age, Ann states “it is just something I believed”. Also stating that it wasn’t until she was older that she realized that it didn’t have to be that way. (AM) Ann tells the story of growing up with this man as her number one role model, keeping her isolated most of the time and seldom out alone, this is only a few reasons why she did not fully comprehend that her life was not normal. She states her sister was one of the only “load mouths” (her ex-husbands term) when she was younger, but years of ignoring her warnings and pleas to help that sister finally gave up and moved across county. (AM). This caused a rip in their relationship that would take many years to repair, even after Ann finally left her husband.
Years later that sister would move back and be the catalyst to give the sister strength to leave. It took ten more years for Ann to start to see a problem, her sister had moved back to the area with her husband and children. Along with a few choice friends they would show her that life could be better. Ann states that her sister was happy and never feared her husband, stating “I saw them fight (argue) but she was never scared he would hit her”, “It made me realize I was scared”. I asked Ann what to her was the...