STUDYING LITERATURE IN GRADE 12
Evaluated and Edited Essay, Rewritten Essay with Proper Corrections, and Brief Note Explaining Corrections and Why They Were Made
EVALUATED AND EDITED ESSAY
This essay will prove that graduating students in Ontario should only study Canadian literature in a Grade 12 English course. This essay shouldn’t be started with “This essay will prove that.” Instead, start with a general statement, or maybe a question. While good writers exist in all cultures, This was good, it’s starting the introduction general. Ontario students should only study Canadian writers. Became specific. Because we need to become more familiar with our literature. First, don’t start ...view middle of the document...
Is this more evidence? In this sense, Canada is an attic in which we have stored American and British literature without considering our own. 1 (Robertson Davies, 426) No wonder a Canadian student has problems appreciating there culture. I don’t think I would include this last sentence, it seems very informal.
Based on the points listed in the Introduction, this paragraph should focus on “Promoting and Establishing our own Writers”
Often what Canadian literature is studied is very old. What is the relevance to the original point of promoting Canadian writers? This includes works such as Mordecai’s Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz or Lawrences Stone Angel. Fifth Business, which was published in 1970 – over 35 years ago – is still on many courses of study in Gr. 12 classrooms. Atwood’s Handmade’s Tale the most recent of these books was published in 1985; over ten years ago. Again while most teachers allow and may even encourage a student to focus on more modern Canadian books for their ISP, his classroom experience is usually limited to studying these golden oldies. This paragraph was extremely hard to follow and understand, as it did not have anything to do with promoting and establishing our Canadian writers.
Based on the Introduction, this paragraph should focus on “Encouraging Younger Canadian Authors”
Then there is the issue of these authors being primarily white, English Canadian and not reflective of our modern multicultural society. What?! The supporting argument was supposed to be encouraging younger Canadian authors.. not the other cultural authors we do read being white. As Robertson Davies stated, “ Canada is not going to have a national literature in the mode of those European lands where a long history has bound the people together, and where a homogeneous racial inheritance has given them a language, customs, and even a national dress of their own.” 2 (Robertson Davies, 35) We need to look at the work of Canadian authors who have come here from different backgrounds. Perhaps construct a new supporting details, about how we need to look at the work of Canadian authors with a different racial/ethnic background. Connecting with our multicultural student body is really important! Why? As Canadians, we are lost in a sea of international influences – we hardly know who we are. Redundant – Stated earlier in the essay Canada hasn’t had the chance to develop since we have “always been under the thumb of a more powerful, foreign culture.” And we do this without realizing it. ‘What is a Canadian? A Canadian is a fellow wearing English tweeds, a Hong Kong shirt and Spanish shoes, who sips Brazilian coffee sweetened with Philippine sugar from a Bavarian cup while nibbling Swiss cheese, sitting at a Danish desk over a Persian rug, after coming home in a German car from an Italian movie..’ is an anonymous saying that practically defines the typical Canadian experience. No wonder that Margaret Atwood can comment that Canadians have...