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Business Plan Essay

1087 words - 5 pages

Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. Thank you for using WritePoint.

Alicia Moore

ETH [Check spelling] /125 [Do not leave spaces around a slash mark]

11/21/13

Dariush ...view middle of the document...

Instead of "to not fight," try "not to fight" or variations of "to avoid fighting," "to keep from fighting," "to disallow fighting," "to forbid fighting," "to fail to fight," etc.--beware: these are computer-generated suggestions and could contain misspellings] with insurance companies to receive their payments.

Every company has their weaknesses. While reading about this company my mind began to see things that may turn into a weakness. This pharmacy is for individuals who have to pay out of pocket. When this company was started, it doesn’t look like there was any thought about what would happen if everyone were required to have medical insurance. With Obama Care everyone is required to have insurance or they will be penalized. Since this program doesn’t take anyone but out of pocket [these three words are spelled as one hyphenated word] pay customers are they going to be able to [Wordiness: Remove "be able to"; the sentence will read more smoothly without it] survive when everyone has Obama Care? [Writing suggestion: Unless in a quote or a title, avoid rhetorical questions in academic writing. A good idea is to provide answers, not questions] This may go one of two ways. Option (1) the individual has insurance and will continue to pay for their prescriptions using insurance. (If their co pay with Obama Care doesn’t sky rocket) or Option (2) The individual will choose not to use insurance to pay for medications and will try to find the cheapest price possible. Looking at the fact that everyone is required to have insurance is this going to be something that will hurt the company in the long run [Cliché--"in the long run" is an old phrase, seen too often, and marks your writing as unoriginal. Try to express the idea in another way] .

With this weakness there could be room for new opportunities. The Discount Pharmacy is set up so that your medications are mailed to you. They survive on lower margins because of operating efficiencies gained by national mail order operations and not accepting insurance policy drug plans. By not accepting drug plans this doesn’t interrupt cash flow. This company requires out of pocket [these three words are...

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