Advice For Lovers Essay

1671 words - 7 pages

Running Head: LETTER of ADVICE

Advice for a New Couple
Jean VanDyke
COM: 200 Interpersonal Communication
Teresa Plummer
September 16, 2013

Dear Nora and Lou,
How to talk to an engaged couple
If they were real close friends and I knew that what I would say to them would make them listen and hear me, this is what I would tell them.
Identify the barriers to effective interpersonal interactions.
If you do not talk about the things that are important to you at the beginning of your relationship, you will find yourself starting to resent the other person. Most people will just go along with what the other person wants to do or says until all at once ...view middle of the document...

If the person that is having a problem with the other person’s habit, dislikes, or religion, they should sit down and discuss this before they continue. They should see if they want to have children, how many, how to raise them, schools they will attend, and last but far from least, who is going to stay home with them? If they continue to ignore these problems while in the beginning of a relationship, the problem(s) will grow until they seek help or end the relationship. This is something that should be worked out long before they become really committed and decide to get married or even live together.
Recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception.
Chapter 4.1 states that “words have the power to make you happy, comfort, calm you, and also hurt you”. Words can even cause a relationship to begin or end. For instance, you can find that by talking to a person whether they are telling you something you want to hear, or if they are telling you something they think you want to hear, or actually telling you how they really feel. (Lakoff, 2001, p.20). They sometimes have mixed meanings, which is called metamessage. In chapter 4.5 the best way to avoid confusion is to improve your vocabulary and to understand their meaning.
There are so many ways that words, actions, or body language can be misunderstood. For instance you might ask where are we going tonight, and he says probably just hanging out. Which could mean going to the bar, a ball game, or just sitting at home. So you put on old jeans or sweats thinking that you are just going to hang out, and you end up going out to dinner and a movie with some of his friends that are dressed really nice. Let’s be honest your looks and body language let him know that you are very upset. He just laughs it off. Then when you get back home you both are in a very bad mood. You want to discuss what happened and he just wants to go to bed. Now it is not a good idea to go to bed angry, so you try to talk with him and he just utters yes dear, anything you say dear, and then the final one which seems to calm you is “you are so right, I should have told you where we were going. So as you can see words have a whole lot of power.
Define emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal relationship.
In chapter 2.3 “it says that it is a set of skills that can be learned. We can improve them by increasing our emotional issues and improving our ability to identify, assess, and manage our feelings”.
This is where we need to assert our reasoning, of people skills, emotional, listening, effective, and communicating skills. What this means is that we as a person going in to a relationship should listen with our mind, eyes, and ears to what is being said around us. If we do not listen to what the other person is saying, how do you expect to know what is going on in his world? Being emotional at certain times is alright as long as you do not turn on the water works...

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